The Power of the Written Word

Yeah, I see the irony in writing something about "writing" and "power" in a blog that no one has ever read yet. It's kind of like how North Korea is the only Korea with "Democratic" in its name. Regardless, I've got to rant on this, especially with some of the recent media developments that have annoyed the crap out of me.

The Halladay Trade Rumours - Looking Back at that Madness

Probably the most exciting offseason development in recent memory, EVERY SINGLE POSSIBLE COMBINATION of top Phillies and Mariners prospects were mentioned as going to the Blue Jays. That's fine, that's entertaining, that makes for a good story. But for goodness' sake, (don't pluralize the "sake", by the way; that's just dumb) these reporters have gone overboard with saying that their stupid guesses come from "sources".

Heck, the Toronto Star's Richard Griffin went ahead and said that the "most likely" candidates to join Toronto were J.A. Happ, Michael Saunders and Phillippe Aumont. Richard Griffin applauded the front office for acquiring these players. Not only did NONE of these three end up in Toronto, but Griffin then says that the actual deal, revealed the next day, was worse. Kyle Drabek, Travis D'Arnaud and Brett Wallace for a $6 million that hadn't been disclosed earlier? It seems as if he has a typical Philly man-crush on a 27-year old rookie with a .251 BABIP against. I'm not saying that Happ couldn't hold down a regular job in the AL East, but he's hardly the exciting type of player one would like to see in return for the best pitcher in the game.

And what's with Bob Elliott telling us just as the trade was set to be finalized that someone failed their physical? Is getting some last minute attention worth sacrificing your reporter credibility? Or does none of that matter anymore?

Ridiculous Stats So Ridiculous That Only Ridiculous Writers And Their Fucked-Up Readers Could Believe

Anyways, I've strayed from my original point. Today, the Star displayed a statistic that Ryan Miller's save percentage against the Leafs in his last 9 games or so (I forget how many, but so what - I'm ranting and it's close enough) is a mind-fucking .996. That's 99.6%. That means for every 1000 shots against, FOUR would go in. To put that in perspective, a team averaging 25 shots a game would take HALF A SEASON to score 4 goals at that rate. And then the Star says his GAA was 1.67 or something. That would mean the Leafs were averaging 417 shots per game against him. That wasn't just a typo on their part. They wrote it twice in the same article. Doing shit like that is bound to mess up the minds of the more mathematically-challenged readers in the world. Shit like that is bound to get them to argue with rational people and use messed up published stats to back up their arguments. And when they get called out on those faulty stats, they'll be able to back up their stupid claims with actual newspapers and rub their own perceived superiority in the faces of rational people. The thought of that makes me crnge so hard I omitted a vowel from a word. And that's coming from someone who would use misprinted stats like that to mess with stupid people who want to argue.


-Cooper